2019, Let’s Do This!

Let me just put this out there:

I am going to write 52 blog posts for 2019. 

The older I get, the less I like New Year’s resolutions, especially not the ones announced publicly. I’ve decided I would rather suffer my failures in private. I’ve done the public failing many, many times and I don’t think anyone enjoys failing publicly. But this year, I’ve set a certain goal for myself. I need to write more on this blog. Let me explain:

Ever since we moved to Pennsylvania, I’ve found it very difficult to finish blog posts. I say “finish” because I’ve written numerous drafts that never make it on here. I’m a perfectionist and it’s hard for me to put work out to the world when it is less than 100%. If you’re a creative, then it is likely that you know exactly what I mean. Nothing is ever good enough. Even with the posts I’ve already published, I impulsively go back and review them over and over again to find things that I feel I could’ve written better.

If I could help it at all, I would not put out work that I am not proud of. This goes for most areas of my life. It pains me to be to be given a task I know I cannot perform well. I am very aware of the skillset I have and having to do anything outside of that is frustrating. Yes, I’m that person at the job interview who says: “My biggest weakness is my perfectionism…” and is totally sincere about it. Now, my position here in Pennsylvania is not secular and I’ve been challenged to rely more and more on the Holy Spirit to accomplish my job. It has been teaching me to not rely on my abilities in order to finish my day to day tasks and projects. Amazing things happen when we let go of our own way of doing things and start listening to God for the best way. I know this should be the Christian’s attitude in any vocation – secular or religious – but quite frankly, it is much harder to get away with relying on my own understanding in the work environment I am in. My clarifications on that belongs to another post.

The point of this is that I must admit that perfectionism has stifled my writing. If you know me personally, then you know how sad this is. I love writing. In fact, I still write. I write for a living, Monday to Friday, sometimes even on the weekends. It is unlikely you’ve seen the writing I do every day because it is technical and for a very specific purpose. But I love getting to do it as my vocation. The only thing that would make it better is if I exercised my writing beyond what my job calls for. Like any creative outlet, writing must be exercised and challenged in order for me to make progress and grow in it. That’s one of the main reasons I started this blog – to challenge myself to put out personal writing, whether or not I think it is perfect, so that I can get better at it.

So let me write it again:

I am going to write 52 blog posts for 2019. 

I know that declaration means little to others. There’s always a chance I can delete this and pretend I never said I’ll do it (I’ve done it before, let’s be honest). So that declaration is  for me. No promises. Just a goal. God help me.

Some posts will be short, while others must inevitably succumb to my tendency to write long-form. Instead of trying to recap the whole of 2018 here all at once, perhaps I’ll succeed in giving you small bites of it throughout the next few weeks. Even if nobody else is interested in my little life adventures, at the very least I have enjoyed reliving them whenever I reread the blog posts on here. This is the life God has given me. I am thankful for it. Let me write about it.

This is post #1/52.

 

 

 

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Carla Carabeo says:

    And I’m excited to read your blog every week!! Woot woot. Not once in a blue moon anymore. Hahaha! You can do it I trust in you. Bawal perfectionist that’s a headache haha. Can’t wait to read the next 51 blogs!!! ☺️😍

    Where’s my invitation letter??? Tatay is bugging me hahahaha! 🤪

    Carla “Make money your god and it will plague you like the devil”

    >

    1. louriz says:

      You’ll probably make an appearance in one of these blog posts. I can’t wait to see you this summer!

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